A Shift In Perspective

                                   


On the plywood wall of my 7x7 'room' hangs my knee brace. I don't like my knee brace because it is a symbol of weakness. Or at least I used to tell myself that it was. That knee brace, along with my newly bum knee, was bringing me down. As long as I had a bum knee and an outward symbol of brokeness (knee brace), I was useless. But today I no longer feel that way.

Let's back track a few years to 2010. I was at the pinnacle of my professional and physical life, serving as the sniper section leader in a reconnaissance platoon during our year-long field trip to Afghanistan. At 33 years old, I was physically in the best shape of my life. Our platoon was highly successful in a military sense, just plain winning our little piece of the Global War On Terror. I had an identity, energy, and a sense of accomplishment. Little did I know that was about to change.

At the end of the deployment, I made the hard decision to leave the military after 14 years. It just didn't feel right any longer. After leaving the Army, I decided to work as a contractor in Baghdad. Training was going well until I decided to blow my knee out during the sniper course. I had no idea how bad it was, but I decided to drive on and limp my way to graduation. A few weeks later I was in Baghdad and my knee wasn't getting any better. After 8 1/2 months in Baghdad, I decided to take leave and get my knee checked out.

The doctor scoped my knee, cleaned up the loose cartilage under my kneecap and noticed that my ACL was loose. This explained why my knee was extremely unstable and felt like it was going to dislocate with every step. It was explained to me that since the ACL was not torn, it was best to leave it be and wear a brace. Oh, and by the way, you need to find a new line of work because the knee will never be 100% again, Thai.

Damn.

I began to feel despair and hopelessness set in. And it took hold of me fast. What was I going to do? I don't have a piece of paper reflecting the fact that I had enough discipline to show up to class for four years! All I know how to do is lead Soldiers in combat and shoot a rifle long range! I began to dull these negative feelings by drinking too much, I felt worthless, and was basically a miserable person inside and out. The hole I dug for myself seemed way too high to climb out of.

Fast forward a few months and something awesome happened - I got a job interview! Through a chain of events and some networking, a good friend of mine tipped me off to a technology company I might be interested in. I sent in my resume and received an email the next day scheduling me for an interview. I didn't have much hope to pass the interview, being that the job was technical in nature and completely different from what I used to do. USED to do. That is key.

I got the job. In about a month I was going to Afghanistan, and I was happy that I was able to provide for my family again. I still feared failure because I was leaving my comfort zone job-wise. However, I was earning a paycheck and realizing that learning something new was completely awesome! Mastery of the Infantry and Sniper arts had been accomplished and I was stagnant in the Army, but now I am exposed to a completely new field of work! And furthermore, I'm pretty darn good at it.

The lesson I learned during this transitionary period in my life is that simply because my knee was damaged, the real me is not broken. I thought I was, but I'm not. The Army and everything I did was not the real me, it was simply what I did. It was hard to let go of my Army identity and stop feeling sorry for myself. I needed to move on and grow, and so far it's been an awesome experience. I keep learning, growing, and being a better person at peace with the path that lies ahead. Though I can never see more than 200 meters ahead into the future, I find myself excited by the unknown. Instead of worrying about money and the future, I just let it manifest. Slowly but surely, I am letting go of the control I craved in my life and just letting The Plan play out as it is supposed to. This shift in perspective makes all the difference in the world. I am finding out who the real me is.

Today I am happier with my life than I have been in a VERY long time. I see things differently. Hardships and adversities are no longer complete road blocks stopping me from reaching my goals, but rather a lesson to be learned and perhaps a detour to where I am supposed to eventually end up in life. And those hardships and adversities are much easier to negotiate these days.

 

Peace In The Middle Of Social Media Domination

Social Media vs. Your Inner Peace

 

 

 

Yeah, you probably found this blog via Facebook. After sifting through and probably 'liking' all the Grumpy Cat and Benghazi memes, you made the effort to click the link to this page. After reading about Angelina Jolie and her preventative double mastectomy, you are now here. And I thank you for coming to read my ramblings. I really do.

 

As social media rapidly becomes our source for all 'information' (whether we like it or not), do you ever sit back and question how the content on your news feed makes you feel? I mean REALLY feel, from the 'lol' you post on a picture or meme you think is mildly entertaining, to the politically or religiously offensive post your friend shared. As you scroll down the page, you are taking in loads of crap which, whether you know it or not, is affecting your well-being.

 

Sure, depending on your individual taste, that meme really COULD make you laugh. Or make you angry. And if you feel that post is worth sharing, you risk putting out content which could seriously ruin another person's day. But why is that? Why should we tip-toe around the internet and refrain from reposting things you find awesome simply because someone else might be profoundly offended? Why can't they just lighten up?

 

Because we are all different. But we are also the same. We all want happiness, some of us are just fooled into believing that awesomely offensive memes make us feel good. They really don't. All of that negative energy manifests into ugliness - depression, hatred, horrible outlook on life, physical illness, lethargy, and various other very real conditions.

 

I know, you are calling bullshit. And that's fine. I don't expect everyone to agree with me. Most of you who are reading this are Type A snake-killers and baby-eaters, 'obligated' by your Ego to be as abbrasive and hardcore as possible. You probably won't get it. It's not that you are not smart enough to get it, it's just that you are not ready. But if you are a Type A snake-killing, baby-eating Apex Warrior who is struggling with depression, substance abuse, anxiety, anger (or anger addiction) etc., then I really do hope you are able to be more open to this.

 

IF you want to live a happier existence, free from the clutter and negativity of social media, do this -

 

• Unlike all the negative/offensive Facebook pages you think you enjoy
• Treat people better - Be the change you want to see in the world
• Find the positive in every negative situation. Then focus on the positive
• Spend less time online and more time with friends and family
• Quit trying to acquire more 'things' and enjoy the stuff you have
• Be open to these weirdo concepts I'm talking about. I promise you won't lose you Man Card

I don't have all the answers, and never will. If you can think of more ways to improve your life (on social media and otherwise), please comment below. Good, bad, positive, negative - I accept all comments and criticizm. It helps me grow.

These are just my quick thoughts as I sit here trying to avoid doing some real work. Or perhaps the REAL work is getting the word out and trying to help the people I really care about? I am learning and growing, finding peace through awareness and conscious actions and thoughts. And it helps. Believe in yourself and know that God and His Universe really does have a plan for you. And in hindsight, that path has always been perfect. As will the future.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 



Man Card Monday - Tips for maintaining accountability of Manliness

The Old-Fashioned



Old-Fashioned. What you should be drinking

 

 

Cocktails. Yeah, I know - 'Those are for girls!'. Wrong. Do you like bourbon? Oh you do? Good. Keep reading. What's that? You don't like bourbon?? Hand over your Man Card right now and go back to playing Angry Birds on your super-cute iPad, because you obviously have zero taste. In the movie 'Team America: World Police', the good guys were on their way back from liberating the SHIT out of some foreign country and Spottswoode says 'Great job, team. Head back to base for debriefing and cocktails.' What kind of cocktails do kick-ass liberators of the already-free drink? That's right - The Old-Fashioned.

 

 

 

So what is an Old-Fashioned? A badass drink made with bourbon, bitters, sugar, orange peel, and sometimes a cocktail cherry. Here are a couple spins on the original recipe from Bourbon & Boots' website - http://www.bourbonandboots.com/history-of-the-old-fashioned-cognac-vs-bourbon/

 

 

 

Cognac Old Fashioned
Ingredients
2.5 ounces VS (Very Special) or VSOP (Very Special Old Pale) Cognac
1 to 2 sugar cubes
1 bar spoon of water (about a teaspoon)
3 to 4 dashes Peychaud’s Bitters
1 wide orange peel for garnish
Standard bar ice
1 chunk ice
Technique
In a mixing glass, add the sugar cubes first, then the water, then the bitters. Use a bar spoon to stir these ingredients into a nice syrup. Add Cognac. Stir vigorously without ice until last of sugar begins to dissolve. Add bar ice and stir for 30 seconds. Put your nice large chunk of ice into an Old Fashioned glass, and strain the cocktail over it. Garnish with wide orange peel by twisting over the glass, and running around the rim. Place the peel on top of the ice and enjoy.

Modified Bourbon Old Fashioned
Ingredients
2 ounces bourbon
1 ounce Rothman & Winter Apricot Liqueur
2 dashes Angostura Bitters
Standard bar ice
1 chunk of ice
1 wide lemon peel
Technique
Combine the bourbon, Apricot Liqueur and bitters in a mixing glass with standard bar ice. Stir for 30 seconds. Strain over a large chunk of ice in an Old Fashioned glass. Garnish with 1 wide lemon peel. Enjoy.

"But bourbon should only be enjoyed one way - neat!" Whatever, save the 'neat' and 'sliver of ice' for the really good bourbon. I can agree on that. But if you have a random bottle of bourbon collecting dust in your bar, go ahead a make an Old-Fashioned. 



Is Your Ego Sabotaging Your Progress?

Here is a lazily-copy/pasted excerpt from a post on Deliberate Blog (www.deliberateblog.com) -

There is no damn Ego

Now, I know that this is a controversial statement. After all, if there is no ego, then who or what can we blame for all the sabotage? What exactly is the cause of all our greed and selfishness and evildoing? Of course the term Ego is simply a way of describing a phenomenon or set of behaviors and reactions that do exist, but I find this explanation outdated, misleading and quite destructive in many ways. The way that most people define and look at the ego usually leaves them feeling powerless (my ego keeps sabotaging me!). It’s also a bit of a throwback to the good vs. evil paradigm (the ego is often seen as our more evil side). Ego can be used to describe our “human” attributes, versus our “soul” attributes, with our human side being the broken, sinful one and our soul being virtuous and clean. To put it another way, there’s a lot of judgment in the way that most people look at the concept of the ego. And that, boys and girls, just won’t fly here, because judgment ultimately doesn’t serve us.


To read the entire article, click www.deliberateblog.com/2013/04/25/is-your-ego-sabotaging-your-progress/


 

Giving Away A Dollar A Day

'Making it Rain' With Less Pain

During my recent research into personal growth (which has been approached at numerous different

angles), I happened upon the current copy of Law of Attraction magazine. lawofattractionmag.com/

As someone who has historically stressed himself out over money issues, I was happy to see that the

magazine contained several articles on the subject.


In particular, the article 'Path to Prosperity' by Jewels Johnson caught my interest with the concept

that 'giving away a dollar a day can transform your life'. What? Give away money, the one thing I'm

desperately trying to acquire?? Surely only the most wealthy and altruistic persons can afford to be so

foolish with their money! So I read on, open to the subject and intrigued by the concept.


The gist of the article is to give away one dollar a day, and benefit from the good that 'giving'

provides. Here is an excerpt from the article describing a gentleman named Todd Silva, the man

from Texas who created the website GiveAwayADollarADay.com -


"Todd began telling me that in 2007, he was facing some real financial difficulties. It seemed like money was kept slipping through his fingers, and security was always out of reach. Todd became so obsessed about money, his reactions were overbearing. It was apparent to all that he was miserable. His fears became compounded by the thoughts of what would happen if he wasn't able to be a good provider. Life was not joyful when, with every waking moment, he worried about money."


What follows in the article is a fun and revealing read. It's amazing what can happen when you allow

God and His Universe to provide you with everything you need. And give a little.


Check out these websites for further information:

http://giveawayadollaraday.com/,  and

 http://giveawayadollaraday.blogspot.com/

 And be open to it, you carnivorous, Type-A, worrying-about-money goofballs!

 

Confessions of a Recovering War Junkie

 

 

 

*Note - This is the first post to this blog, so I will attempt to keep it short for those of you who can

 

barely sit still long enough to read the latest The Duffel Blog post. Plus, I want you to come back again.

 

 

 

Combat.  To some, that word conjurs images they have seen of wars fought in faraway lands,

 

broadcast daily on CNN or Fox News since September 11th, 2001.  To others, the word 'Combat' 

 

will ellicit fond memories of Brotherhood, firefights won, and the incomparable high of an adrenaline

 

rush.

 

 

Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result. 

 

 

 

Soldiers come back from long tours of terrifying, adrenaline-infused combat and are happy to be

 

home. For a while, anyways.  Happy to see their family, get laid, eat their favorite food, drink far

 

too much (or not enough) liquor.  The excitement of returning from war temporarily replaces the

 

intense adrenaline high that combat provides. This fades quickly into a yearning for more

 

excitement and adrenaline 'fixes'.

 

 

Oftentimes the retuning soldier will purchase a motorcycle with his hard-earned, tax-free combat

 

pay. And drink too much. And speed. And die. All to recapture that combat adrenaline rush. In the

 

heroin world, this is called 'chasing the dragon'. The high you get in combat can only be replaced

 

with what? More combat.

 

 

Fighting. Out at the bar on a Friday night. It's crowded and you hate crowds because they have a

 

tendency to attract bullets, VBIEDs, gentlemen mingling with the crowd wearing suicide vests -

 

Crowds are shitty places to be. But you have your boys, and a buzz. And now the crowd makes

 

your PTSD flare up like a pack of hemorrhoids. Ah, yes! Excitement! Adrenaline! FIGHT!

 

 

Pro Tip - Stay the hell away from Walmart on the weekends.

 

 

This cycle is destructive, but you have to be willing to recognize this fact before you can change

 

Or hit rock-bottom. End up in prison with Bubba rocking YOUR bottom. But I digress.  Here are

 

some more Pro Tips to help you assimilate into society and not be that angry war vet.

 

 

• Stop wearing MMA clothing. Your limited exposure to Modern Army Combatives and

         
          years of being a Tito Ortiz fan (plus that super-busy and blingy Tapout shirt) will not

         keep you from getting your ass handed to you. And no SnapBack hats. Ever.

• Don't drink so much. And if you want to drink while watching UFC 576 this weekend,

          do it at your house with close friends. You and your friends will probably be sporting

         Affliction gear, and the patrons of Buffalo Wild Wings will laugh at you. Hard. Then

         you'll want to fight. It's a vicious cycle.

• Again, STAY AWAY FROM WALMART ON WEEKENDS.

• There's this thing called 'Adrenal Fatigue'. Guys who have been in high stress

          environments for long periods (like soldiers in combat) often have adrenal fatigue

          but are rarely diagnosed. Causes depression, lethargy (dragging ass, for all you weirdo

         knuckle-dragging Infantrymen out there), low testosterone, and other symptoms. Can only

         feel energized after that 2 1/2 gallon can of Monster energy drink? It's because your adrenal

         glands are running on empty. More on Adrenal Fatigue -

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2000/08/27/adrenals.aspx

Everyone knows you are a war hero - you personally shot Bin Laden, ate babies and killed snakes

while you were in the Middle East. We get it. You are the archetypal Sheepdog badass who enters

 an Afghan village screaming 'WHERE'S THE BABIE'S ROOM!". Well even the most awesome war

 heroes lose it at times. Look at Rambo - He was obviously depressed and decided that his happiness

 would be somewhere in the Pacific Northwest (or in his duffel bag, probably buried at the bottom

 underneath all the unecessary gear he had to pack as per the Packing List). He probably should have

 moved somewhere sunny and less emo, especially since he was on foot.


Rambo had a classic case of 'Don't Go To Walmart On The Weekendsitis'.


Enjoy the great memories and have fun NOT living in shitty conditions. But be honest with

yourself and get some help if you need it. Remove your Ego from the equation and do some

maintenance on yourself. No one else is going to do it for you. Oh, and MMA clothing makes you

look like a douche. Burn them. Burn them all.