Lack of regular content posted to a 'blog is lame. And I apologize for not writing in a while, as the inspiration to share my thoughts has not manifested recently. Perhaps copying and pasting another person's article is also lame, but whatever.
So out of laziness or just to keep with the lame theme (though this article is FAR from lame), I offer my readers the homie Mat Best's latest article, 'The Muddled, The Misguided, and The Future: A Ranger’s Perspective on a Happy Life'. I received Mat's blessings to share this article to The Benevolent Warfighter, and thusly to you. Enjoy.
The Muddled, The Misguided, and The Future: A Ranger’s Perspective on a Happy Life
By Mat Best
To start, my name is Mat Best, and you may know me as the bearded Internet Guy who posts silly videos about the military. Something you might not know about me is that I’ve dealt with alcoholism and an ever-constant struggle with the transition to civilian life.
I’m not really sure with whom this article will resonate, but I can only hope it finds someone that could use some real words from someone with shared experiences. Please do not expect some scholarly profound article that will influence your outlook on the social standing of veterans. Rather, these are merely genuine words from someone who is sharing his personal experiences. “Mistakes live in the past; if you chose to relive those outcomes then you are only the creator of your own calamity, not the decider of your destiny.“There are a lot of reasons why I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve been through hardship in life. The main one being, I often feel that people who are too afraid to admit that they’ve made mistakes and been wrong are the ones who are unable to grow in character. No matter what moral pedestal one might stand on, everyone makes mistakes. I am a firm believer in the stance that mistakes are the foundation for a proactive approach to growth.
Mistakes live in the past; if you chose to relive those outcomes then you are only the creator of your own calamity, not the decider of your destiny. Challenge, hardship, and fault only live on through your future endeavors if you allow it. Many of life’s greatest moments of bliss and happiness exist because of a history of hardship. So be thankful for your experiences and transition into the person you want to be.
Life is full of transitions. Transition in my understanding is a portion of life that consists of adapting from normality into the unknown. Whether that is optional or obligatory, you are found out of your comfort. Understandably, this is a very scary median between two positions in life. I’ve found that transition normally takes a lot longer than you expect. We all wish that transition would be over in a blink of an eye, but unfortunately that is never the case.
The key to transition is acknowledging that you are changing your life for a better outcome. A normal response to a period of transition is often filled with emotions like trepidation. In my personal experience, transition tends to take you to a place filled with more happiness than ever before. Even if the road to happiness was undeniably difficult. If you get lost in a state of embitterment, know that you’re in control of change and action will be the only delineation of success.
I can honestly admit that I do not have the key to success and happiness in life. What I do have is perspective, and that is what seems to define happiness. Life isn’t fair. Life isn’t always honest. And I will be damned sure that life isn’t easy. So when things get hard, don’t look for someone to blame, challenge yourself to make the transition. You may not be responsible for what life throws at you, but you are responsible with how you react.
No matter how much you’ve progressed in life, people will always tear at the scaffolding that builds you. Their goal is to prevent you from growing as a person. Do not let them win. Remember, to resent someone is to allow them free rent in your head. So live, laugh, and freedom on.
If nothing in the article resonated with you, here is a video of a bunch of puppies. Only terrorists don’t like puppies. -Mat Best, CEO Article 15 Clothing
Life Keeps Going After The Cordite Fades And Adrenaline Subsides
The best years of your life, at least in retrospect, were spent humping around a bunch of gear with your buddies and taking the fight to the enemy. You had purpose - and that purpose included being a badass operating with a bunch of like-minded badasses. Your drug of choice - adrenaline rush of a firefight and the pride in walking the valley as the most dangerous dude for miles. You were unstoppable and so were the men you served with.
Then it all came to a screeching halt at ACAP.
What you experienced in those too short years of your life can never be effectively articulated to outsiders. They will never understand how great you were, what you accomplished, and the feeling of belonging and purpose.
With an average of 22 combat veterans killing themselves per day, we must ask ourselves and each other 'what the hell is going on here?'. To most, this shockingly high number is just a statistic. To some of us, it is an understanding. An understanding of the struggle the vast majority of us go through post-military.
The feelings of loneliness, life without purpose, and none of your fellow Warfighters in sight can cause depression and despair. That needs to stop. Right here, right now.
Whether you know it or not (and whether hiring managers, family members, or society recognizes), you have developed superior skills while serving in the military and it is time to make people see that. But the first person who needs to see is you.
I will keep this entry short so as to get to an important point (and because some of this audience has the attention span of a toddler): stop living in the past. There is absolutely NO time in existence except Now. The job you did overseas and in garrison while in the military does not define who you are. That is what you DID. Who are you right NOW? If you are constantly thinking that you are Corporal so and so kicking ass in Paktika province, you are doing yourself a disservice. The person you are is right here, right now.
And that is just fine. You'll survive your Present Self if you don't become a statistic.
Enjoying what you have NOW and living your life mentally in the Present is one key to being a happier person. If your mind is constantly living past moments, it opens the gates to depression. If you are constantly thinking about how happy you can and will be in the future 'if this one thing happens', you are opening your mind up to anxiety. Neither are awesome, but you are. Be an awesome person right NOW, during each and every moment of your life. Because the past and the future do not even exist. There is only now.
Some thoughts by Eckhart Tolle. Please Google Mr. Tolle and read more about his writings:
1. You are not your thoughts. You are the awareness behind the thoughts. Thoughts are often negative and painful, yearning for or fearing something in the future, complaining about something in the present or fearing a matter from the past. However, the thoughts are not you; they are a construct of the ego. Awareness of your thoughts without being caught up in them is the first step to freedom.
2. Only the present moment exists. That is where life is (indeed it is the only place life can truly be found). Becoming aware of the 'now' has the added benefit that it will draw your attention away from your (negative) thoughts. Use mindfulness techniques to fully appreciate your surroundings and everything you are experiencing. Look and listen intently. Give full attention to the smallest details.
3. Accept the present moment. It is resistance to the present moment that creates most of the difficulties in your life. However, acceptance does not mean that you cannot take action to rectify the situation you are in. What is important is to drop resistance so that you let the moment be, and that any action arises from deeper awareness rather than from resistance. The vast majority of pain in a person's life comes from resistance to what is.
4. Observe the pain-body. Years of conditioned thought patterns, individually and collectively, have resulted in habitual emotional reactions with an apparent personality of their own. During 'pain-body attacks' we become completely identified with this 'pain identity' and respond from its agenda--which is to create more pain for ourselves and others. Observing the pain-body is awareness itself arising--as it allows humans to separate from this unconscious identification with pain.
“Enlightenment means choosing to dwell in the state of presence rather than in time. It means saying yes to what is.” -– Eckhart Tolle
Get out there, experience things, be a selfless person, and enjoy the journey.
Most people encounter some truly phenomenal people during their lifetime. Others have profound experiences while watching a movie, or in the middle of a great book. Traveling to a faraway land and completely taking in a beautiful place inspires others from that moment forward.
What five things have changed your life? Was it a book you just so happened to come across and couldn't put down? Or visiting a historic site in Europe? What about combat experiences (intense struggles) in foreign lands during an armed conflict, or spiritually while seeking God and Happiness?
I will start with my list.
1. Recognizing God and the Universe in everything around me. Good and bad.
2. 'The Alchemist' by Paulo Coelho. The story has a unique way of putting adversity into persepctive.
3. Combat deployments. The extremes in humanity at its best and worst, coupled with extremes in emotion make for a life-changing experience. These times are worth reflecting on at a conscious level without allowing the negative memories to influence my Presence and happiness.
4. Injuries. They always have a way of letting you know just where you stand, and communicate to you in a such a way that you cannot help but listen. Take their lessons and apply.
5. My Wife. Without her, I would be stuck in a rut and never learned how to rise above and grow as a human being.
Comment on your life-changing experiences below. If you have less than five, that's perfectly fine. If you have more, feel free to include them all.
As I enjoy a perfectly glorious day here in South Dakota, weather-wise, and having listened to President Obama address the Vietnam Vets at the Memorial Wall in Washington, I'm left with a mixed bag of Thoughts, Memories, and Feelings regarding what this day represents.
Like most of us here, I understand that War is part of the game we come here to play -- never mind whether we understand why we made such choices in the first place. We don't remember, quite deliberately, so we can fully believe in the reality of this Earth experience.
But we did, and we do.
It was fifty years ago that American troops were first committed to "the 'Nam". I was eight years old. I grew up with that war. I remembered my father's tales of Korea -- of which there were understandably only a few, and not very detailed. Over time, I came to realize he died there -- but it took him another twenty years to actually leave the planet. And I saw this same thing over and over again, in soldiers who managed to make it out of that jungle and return home.
Every thought you think, and every experience you have, literally re-wires the neural net in your physical brain, and changes your entire physiology as you adapt. Very soon, you are not the same person you were a little while ago. People thrust into horrifically violent circumstances like War change dramatically, and sometimes permanently. For some, there's no re-adaptation to a civilian environment when they leave the combat zone.
Sometimes it saddens me, but then I remind myself that, for whatever reasons, they chose these experiences. And I find myself thinking, if only they understood this -- if only EVERYONE understood this -- then a deliberate re-wiring to facilitate a satisfactory re-adaptaion would be much easier for them, and for everyone around them. They'd know it's just part of an interactive, 4-dimensional Time-Space Virtual Reality holographic "movie" we've all chosen, each with our own costumes and roles to play, and stories to express. And that when it's all over, we simply drop our costumes in the Recycle Bin ( read, "drop our bodies in a hole the ground" ) walk off the stage and go home.
So today, I honor these brave ones. My own sense of things is that I've already killed and been killed every which way there is, so this version of Me is sitting out the war games, even though I feel a strong attachment to those who participate. In my current reality, I wouldn't want to go through any of that again -- I've had enough.
But I empathize and resonate with those who do.
I'd like to share a verse with you that I wrote many years ago, which speaks to this. Some of my outlook has changed since then, of course -- but part of me still feels this way:
I REMEMBER
I remember Sixty-Four, didn't even know we were back at war, I was only ten.
Lost my dad the year before, though he'd still come knockin' on the door every now and then.
He tried his very best to explain, to dry my tears and ease my pain, but I was overwhelmed.
We heard Momma say "It's your own fault Wayne" as he and I stood in the pouring rain, and he looked like hell.
It was a mid-summer storm, and the raindrops were warm, but inside us both it was December.
Oh, yeah . . . I remember.
He told me of his combat days, tried to justify his drinkin' ways, and I tried to understand.
The war within himself he waged -- Fear and Horror, Pain and Rage -- he was a tortured man.
He knew his job was not yet done, knew my race was not yet run, I was in for a long fight,
And he feared for me, his only son, the war in Asia just begun, with no end in sight.
It was a mid-summer storm, and the tear-drops were warm, but inside was hail and wind and thunder.
Yeah, Daddy . . . I remember.
I remember Sixty-Nine, and one small step for Human-kind, but it stayed out there.
It was a terrible, turbulent time, seemed half the world had lost its mind, and the rest were too stoned to care.
The Johnson-Nixon war machine rolled across my TV screen -- y'know it made me sick!
How could something so obscene be justified by any means? Only in politics.
I sat and watched it all, knowing the mighty must soon fall, and I heard the sound of crashing timber.
Absent, fallen friends . . . thee I remember!
Daddy died in Seventy-Three, Mom re-married and forgot about me, so I just went away.
Hit the coast and went to sea -- seemed like the very best place for me, to live out where the Dolphins play.
I recalled a girl, and a child she bore . . . heard the Raven quoth "Nevermore" but she's mine, I feel it's true;
Now life has another job in store, but one day I'll go back through that door. Li'l darlin', I'm comin' for you!
I drift among my dreams, knowing nothing's as it seems, but inside, a hopeful, glowing ember.
Yeah, baby . . . I remember!
****************************************************************
Like Thanksgiving, this day is only significant to Americans. Yet I would offer the idea that, whoever you are and wherever you live, it's a good day to honor the memory of anyone and everyone who has ever meant anything to you and/or your loved ones, for whatever reasons.
This article, by Mark Twight, was taken from the Gym Jones website www.gymjones.com. I edited as much of the bad language as possible without comprimising the important points made using colorful expletives. As with anything in Life, take what applies and filter out what doesn't.
Twitching
By Mark Twight
What's your problem? I think I know. You see it in the mirror every morning: temptation and doubt hip to hip inside your head. You know it's not supposed to be like this. But you drank the Kool-Aid and dressed yourself up in someone else's life.
You're haunted because you remember having something more. With each drag of the razor you ask yourself why you piss your blood into another man's cup. Working at the job he offered, your future is between his thumb and forefinger. And the necessary accessories, the proclamations of success you thought gave you stability provide your boss security. Your debt encourages acquiescence, the heavy mortgage makes you polite.
Aren't you sick of being tempted by an alternative lifestyle, but bound by chains of your own choosing? Of the gnawing doubt that the college graduate, path of least resistance is the right way for you - for ever? Each weekend you prepare for the two weeks each summer when you wake up each day and really ride, or climb; the only imperative being to go to bed tired. When booming thermals shoot you full of juice and your Vario shrieks 7m/sec, you wonder if the lines will pop. The risk pares away life's trivia. Up there, sucking down the thin cumulus, the earth looks small, the boss even smaller, and you wish it could go on forever. But a wish is all it will ever be.
Because the ground is hard. Monday morning is harsh. You wear the hangover of your weekend rush under a strict and proper suit and tie. You listen to NPR because it's inoffensive, PFC: Politically F-ing Correct. Where's the counter-cultural righteousness that had you flirting with Bad Religion and the vintage Pistols tape over the weekend? On Monday you eat frozen food and live the homogenized city experience. But Sunday you thought about cutting your hair very short. You wanted a little more volume and wondered how out of place you looked in the Sub Pop Music Store. Flipping through the import section, you didn't recognize any of the bands. KMFDM? It stands for Kill Mother F-ing Depeche Mode. Didn't you know? How could you not?
Tuesday you look at the face in the mirror again. It stares back, accusing. How can you get by on that one weekly dose? How can you be satisfied by the artifice of these experiences? Why should your words mean anything? They aren't learned by heart and written in blood. If you cannot grasp the consciousness-altering experience that real mastery of these disciplines proposes, of what value is your participation? The truth is pointless when it is shallow. Do you have the courage to live with the integrity that stabs deep?
Use the mirror to cut to the heart of things and uncover your true self. Use the razor to cut away what you don't need. The life you want to live has no recipe. Following the recipe got you here in the first place:
Mix one high school diploma with an undergrad degree and a college sweetheart. With a whisk (or a whip) blend two cars, a poorly built house in a cul de sac, and fifty hours a week working for a board that doesn't give a shit about you. Reproduce once. Then again. Place all ingredients in a rut, or a grave. One is a bit longer than the other. Bake thoroughly until the resulting life is set. Rigid. With no way out. Serve and enjoy.
"You see your face reflected there in a sweating brow, you hate what you see, but what can be done when there's no way out, no way out?" The Chameleons, "Intrigue in Tangiers"
But there is a way out. Live the lifestyle instead of paying lip service to the lifestyle. Live with commitment. With emotional content. Live whatever life you choose honestly. Give up this renaissance man, dilettante bullshit of doing a lot of different things (and none of them very well by real standards). Get to the guts of one thing; accept, without reservation or rationalization, the responsibility of making a choice. When you live honestly, you can not separate your mind from your body, or your thoughts from your actions.
"If you really want to hurt them and their children not yet born tell them the truth always". Henry Rollins, from the book See a Grown Man Cry
Tell the truth. First, to yourself. Say it until it hurts. Learn the reality of your own selfishness. Quit living for other people at the expense of your own self, you're not really alive. You live in the land of denial - and they say the view is pretty a long as you remain asleep.
Well it's time to WAKE THE F- UP!
So do it. Wake up. When you drink the coffee tomorrow, take it black and notice it. Feel the caffeine surge through you. Don't take it for granted. Use it for something. Burn the Grisham books. Sell the bad CDs. Mariah Carey, Dave Mathews and N Sync aren't part of the soundtrack where you're going.
Cut your hair. Don't worry about the gray. If you're good at what you do, no one cares what you look like. Go to the weight room. Learn the difference between actually working out and what you've been doing. Live for the Iron and the fresh air. Punish your body to perfect your soul. Kick the habit of being nice to everyone you meet. Do they deserve it? Say "no" more often.
.
Quit posturing at the weekly parties. Your high pulse rate, your 5.12s and quick time on the Slickrock Trail don't mean shit to anybody else. These numbers are the measuring sticks of your own progress; show, don't tell. Don't react to the itch with a scratch. Instead, learn it. Honor the necessity of both the itch and the scratch. But a haircut and a new soundtrack do not a modern man make. As long as you have a safety net you act without commitment. You'll go back to your old habits once you meet a little resistance. You need the samurai's desperateness and his insanity.
Burn the bridge. Nuke the foundation. Back yourself up against a wall. Have an opinion one way or the other, get off the fence and rip it up. Cut yourself off so there is no going back. Once you're committed the truth will come out. You ask about security? What you need is uncertainty. What you need is confusion; something that forces you to reinvent yourself, a whip to drive you harder.
"I never try anything - I just do it. Want to try me? White Zombie, sample from "Thunder Kiss"
In Dune, Frank Herbert called it "the attitude of the knife," cut off what's incomplete and say "now it has finished, for it has ended there." So finish it, and walk away, forward. Only acts undertaken with commitment have meaning. Only your best effort matters. Life is a Meritocracy, with death as the auditor. Inconsistency, incompetence and lies are all cut short by that final word. Death will change you if you can't change yourself.
"If I can change one, then I can change two. If I can change two, then I can change four. If I can change four, then I can change eight. If I can change eight, then I can change." One Minute Silence, "If I Can Change"
Sometimes we get caught up in trying to decide what to do, analyzing which option is best.
Quit this job or stay put?
Stay in this relationship or get out?
Go ahead with this medical procedure or wait for another solution?
Spend this money now or save it for later?
It can be maddening when we don’t have strong guidance making it clear which is the best option.
That’s when I like to remember that it doesn’t matter what we do. It only matters how we feel.
Because our world is unfolding according to our energy, not our action.
So even if I picked a “smart” action, if I continue doubting and second-guessing that action, that energy won’t lead to my highest success.
On the other hand, if I picked a ridiculous path that seems very unlikely to work out – if I feel confident and flow positive expectations about that decision, I’ll be better served than if I chose something out of fear or obligation.
It’s worth remembering next time you’re stuck in indecision wondering what the right thing to do is.
It’s also why it’s pointless to judge another’s action, since we don’t know what their vibration is around it. As in, maybe Angelina Jolie found her highest relief in having an elective double mastectomy. Whatever she feels best about is what works best for her. The same is true for each of us, even when we land on different answers.
There is no such thing as “right thing to do.” There is only “best way to feel.” Which option makes it easier for you to feel good? Go with that one.
And then LET it be the right decision. Get on board with it and feel good about it, whichever you choose.
Because it’s those good vibes that make the difference. It’s not what you do that counts; it’s how you feel.
*This is a direct copy and paste post from Jeannette Maw's blog, goodvibeblog.com
